" 'What are you trying to do, you monster?' she faltered.

" 'I have come home to dinner, Mary,' was the meek reply.

" 'Come home to dinner!' exclaimed Mrs. Tubbs, aghast. 'Who in the name of wonder are you, you overgrown brute?'

" 'Who am I? asked the giant, smiling feebly, for he began to feel a little queer at this reception from the wife with whom he had lived for fifteen years. 'Ha! ha! don't you know your own husband--your Tommy?'

" 'My husband!' exclaimed Mrs. Tubbs, astonished at the fellow's impudence. 'You, don't mean to say that you are my husband?'

" 'Of course I am,' said Thomas.

" 'Then,' said Mrs. Tubbs, 'I would have you know that my husband is a respectable little man, not half your size.'

" 'Oh, dear!' thought Thomas. 'Well, here's a kettle of fish; my own wife won't own me!'